RANSVESTIA

At that time we lived in a duplex. Our neighbors upstairs had three daughters in their late teens and early twenties. Although I was younger than they, we had always gotten along very well and I was good friends with the three of them. It took a little time before I got up enough nerve to go upstairs, explain the situation and ask if I could borrow some of their "best." I shouldn't have waited. They thought it was a hilarious idea and couldn't wait to get started. I can still feel the blushes of pleasure, that they mistook for embarassment, as they opened their cupboards and brought forth beautiful dresses from which we selected three. We managed to find a pair of high- heeled, sling backed, black suede shoes into which I could crowd my rather ample feet when assisted by stockings. A padded bra, and a borrowed girdle of my mother's put the right curves on a slim masculine figure. Even with a somewhat less than satisfactory wig the result filled me with so much excitement I was almost sick to my stomach. No other experience in my lifetime had affected me emotionally as much. I wanted to laugh and cry and dance and sing all at once.

The show itself was anticlimactic. I had to tone down my excite- ment so no one would suspect how much I enjoyed it. Of course I played it to the hilt and received the looked for appreciation of the audience. However, there was no way I could let myself go and sink into the total femininity that I felt was well within my grasp at that moment for the first time-a fantastic frustration I still remember. Although I couldn't put a label on it at that time, in retrospect I was a confirmed TV.

What sort of a home had spawned such a "deviate"? I knew that what I was enjoying was not "normal" in the usual connotation. I was an only child. Had my parents always wanted a girl and treated me as such? Definitely not. There was no older sister with whom to identify. There was no close relation who had undue influence over me. My social activities were normal in every way except that I may have started dating a little later than some at age 16. I had a close group of male friends and we enjoyed each other's company im- mensely. We all had our girl friends and double and triple dated regularly. My interest in girls was certainly as physical as any other fellow with "the ultimate objective" just as high in my mind. School extracurricular activities included membership on the student council, captain of the rifle team, commanding officer of the Cadet Corps-an arm injury kept me out of contact sports for a while

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